This month's core value: Having a positive attitude!

Response to Core Value


I am reminded of Alice Coopers' "The Awakening" as I think of how best to respond to the leading entry.  It is a very short song, with few lines, but very impactful.  To sum it up, for those who have not heard it, a guy wakes up in the basement, he looks for his wife, he follows a trail of crimson spots that lead into the night, then notices these crimson spots are dripping from his hand, and oohhhhhhhh...it makes him feel like a man.  Great song, very creepy.  Which leads me to a point in my lovely wife's lead entry.

Thranduil, Elven king of Mirkwood.  It looks as if my wife is headed for another major fictional crush.  She confided in me that he may be taking the place of Snape, and maybe - the jury is still out - taking the place of Dalamar.  I feel like I must defend their respective honors.  I don't know how to feel about this new crush.  Snape was tolerable, I mean really, how could you not, at least on some level, like Snape?  He's confident, great at magic, and an awesome double agent.  And then there's his voice.  All together it should be enough to make me jealeous, but he's arristocratic looking, with a big nose.  According to Jenn, I have an aristocratic look, and according to anyone who's looked at my face, I have a big nose.  As for Dalamar, I supposedly have charactaristics reminiscent of Dalamar.  So, in the case of these two, it can be excused because there is a little bit of me in those over-the-top crushes.  But Thranduil?  What does she say about - and continue to say about him?  He's a douche bag.  She asks herself, "Why am I always attracted to douche bags?"  What does that say for me?  I don't see any charactaristics of me in Thranduil.  Does that mean I am truly a douche?  I know I have done some severly douchey things, but are those fairly isolated events and choices enough to condemn me as such?  Maybe.  I feel like I should stand up for and defend Snape and Dalamar.

Sometimes I wonder if I am even a man.  According to a White Stripes song that I can't recall the name of right now, "A man is not a man 'til he's made his stand".  I think I have made one stand for my wife's honor.  I also remember another "incident" long ago when we were first dating.  I'll start with the latter.  I didn't even have a car at that point.  We were walking to my mom's car from what I remember as being a bookstore, but I could be wrong on that.  Just before we got into the SUV, one guy in a group of three or four shouted out to Jenn, "Why are you with a guy like him when you could be with me?"  Oh I was furious.  I pulled out of the parking space, pointed the SUV at the group and floored it, swerving just about ten feet from them.  Appearantly, they looked as if shit hit underwear, or at least a significant supply of urine.  I don't think that counts as taking a stand, just an example of how I react to situations: often inappropriately.  The one stand that I think I took was when Jenn's brother called her a bitch.  I had an overnight job, was sleeping with about 3 hours 'til my time to wake up.  I rolled over to hear the name calling, considered ignoring it, then one utterance of the word hit me very wrong.  I leaped out bed and confronted him.  I don't remember all of the details, but I was not going to stand down, luckily he did, because he probably would have beaten my ass.  He works out daily, can easily be considered "ripped", and I have never been in a fight and just woke up from four hours of sleep.  It may be the first example of standing my ground...and it actually worked.  But I don't know that that makes me a man.

I often think of a line in the movie Fight Club: "I'm a 30-year-old boy."  I don't actually feel like a man, mostly because of my living situations for most of the last 12 years.  But this last year has changed that, and this year is going to be better.  And as for Thranduil:  I will defend Snape and Dalamar, because there is a little of me in them.  And if the douche in Thranduil is a reflection of me, then I will draw it out of me as poison is drawn from a wound and squash the Elven king and impale his head on his stupid looking crown.

How's that for a positive attitude.